Challenge Your “Story”
In order to get unstuck you HAVE to challenge your “story.” Challenge your supposed identity. All of the people I work with have a completely, negatively skewed sense of who they are. They have been taught by their parents, friends, teachers, and eventually by themselves, that they are someone far less than who they really are.
Their stories are abundantly filled with their mistakes, flaws, failures and f*ckups. If they have spent ANY time in our “wonderful” mental health system, then they have recited their personal stories of tragedy, weakness, addiction and/or multiple diagnoses thousands of times. So much so, that they no longer strive for a future but are anchored in the past, as if the past defines them.
Lies, lies, lies! You MUST challenge this tainted view of yourself and remember who the f*ck you really are! Your past BEHAVIORS are not you. Your diagnosis is not you. What your parents, counselors, friends tell you, is not you.
You, at your core, are still who you were at 9 or 10 years old. The person who loved to explore, loved to play, wanted to help others, got excited about stupid little things. You have just been beaten down by life so badly that you forgot and started believing and acting the way you thought you were SUPPOSED to be as an adult. F*ck that!
How do you find out if what I’m saying is true? Ask yourself if the things you tell yourself about your identity are facts or beliefs. Two TOTALLY different things. For instance, if you say (or someone else says) you’re a loser because you lost your job. Is that a fact? F*ck no! Millions of people lose jobs. But if you BELIEVE you’re a loser because of it, because you were taught this, then it becomes part of your story.
I could go on and on. I see this every day. Good, decent, bright, talented, creative, wonderful people, stuck living in some shit story they were brainwashed into believing about themselves.
So, take some time. Question your self-identity. Question your story. You don’t need to write a new one. You just need to remember the REAL one.