How to get Unstuck – FAST!
Everything I do is about helping people get unstuck. Why? Because even though I have spent most of my life researching, teaching and applying the principles of empowerment, I’m very human and imperfect and have found myself stuck numerous times myself. And it’s a crappy place to be. Anxiety, self-doubt, regret, shame, aloneness and hopelessness kick in like a whirlwind from Hell.
So, when I teach the martial art of aikido, I show students how to relax and use their intrinsic strength to deal with wrist grabs, strikes, choke attacks, etc. Their natural reaction is to freeze up, give up and yup, get stuck. But it’s only an illusion that they have no choices. Very cool stuff.
When I run my Return to Power workshops participants are there because they feel dis-empowered and want to be in control again. Stuck.
My coaching clients are often dealing with overusing drugs, alcohol or behaviors (gambling, food, sex, porn, shopping) which have put them in a position of feeling trapped. They think they don’t know how to move forward.
With all three modalities that I use to pass these principles of empowerment on to others, the people I’m working with always have two things in common. The first, obviously, is they believe they are stuck, trapped, disempowered, with few or no choices.
The second commonality is they think that they need outside help to find their way again. That they don’t have the strength, internal resources, ability or skills to change their circumstances. This is a complete and total lie that someone or something has taught them.
If you have somehow found yourself in this undesirable position, let me share with you the “secret” of getting out.
You HAVE to remember who the fuck you are! Stop focusing on why you’re stuck, how you’re stuck, what you did or didn’t do in the past to get you there. You do NOT need to understand every dimension of a problem to start initializing the solution. And the solution is this: Rediscover yourself. I don’t mean in some new age, lovey dovey, butterflies and rainbows way. Remember what gets you excited, what you lose time doing, what you always wanted to try or learn. What do people always tell you you’re great at? What did you love doing when you were ten? What things would you be doing if you weren’t stuck in the shitty relationship, job, overusing, etc.?
This isn’t about finding your purpose or passion (although it may lead to that). It’s about remembering the little, unique things that make you feel like you. That get your motor running. That just thinking about wake you up and give you energy. The things (good things) that used to keep you awake at night.
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Once you determine what some of these things are, guess what? You start fucking doing them! All of the sudden you’re not the guy who overuses alcohol, you’re the guy who is learning how to play the drums. You’re no longer the gal who hates her miserable job, you’re the lady who is teaching yoga part time. You’re not the person who is in a dried up, crappy relationship, you’re the person thinking of ways to make the world better by volunteering at the local SPCA.
And “magically”, you start moving away from your stuckness and towards who you forgot you always were in the first place. Excitement returns, hope is back and very quickly you feel a new sense of identity, direction and control. It was always there, you just forgot.
I have seen this work with my students, coaching clients and myself. It’s powerful, simple and quick. I know it works.
Give it a try and please don’t hesitate to share the new and exciting things you are doing with me!